Title: Harm
Fandom: Star Trek RP: theneutralzone@lj
Rating: PG-13: violence, mild language, sexual themes
Pairing: Deven Lanford (2373) x Jimena Kirk (2258~Mirror)
Notes: My twisted mind does these things. Don’t ask. :|

-_-_-_-_-

( There really wasn’t much to do besides wander anymore. )

Title: Practical Experience
Fandom: Star Trek RP: theneutralzone@lj
Rating: G
Pairing: Deven Lanford(2373) x Jimena Kirk (2258.45)
Notes: Inspired by old threads. Surprise for Jimena!mun (aka Kat).

-_-_-_-_-

Up until now his life had been simple enough. Even in this place, it wasn’t terrible. Here he had found the kind of love he had only hoped for back where he belonged.

Strange that the one that was perfect for him came 100 years too soon.

And now this. Even the shadows of that terrible dream couldn’t taint this moment. Even the knowledge that they would have to leave and confront that couldn’t stain the feelings that overwhelmed him to the point of tears as he looked down at the two of them asleep.

There had been a lot of those lately, tears.

Carefully, he bent down and lifted the tiny newcomer- only a few hours old- from his sleeping lover’s arms, holding the small child close and feeling her warmth. Gently, he ran a finger down her soft face and the infant yawned and opened her liquid blue eyes to look up- almost curiously- at her father. He smiled down at her as she fidgeted a little and grabbed hold of his finger in both of her tiny hands. She was so quiet, looked so intent, that his smile grew even wider and he lifted her higher, placing a soft kiss on her cheek, giving her a proper welcome as she giggled softly at him.

“Hello, Lovely.”

Her smile was the sweetest thing he had ever seen, and he felt tears in his eyes. He blinked them away and she yawned and settled into his arms and went back to sleep. As her eyes closed again, one of the tears he had been holding back fell down his face and, laughing silently at himself, he wiped it away with the back of his hand, moved over to a chair, and sat down, cradling the tiny child in his lap.

He heard Ena stirring in the bed off to his left and he smiled yet again. Everything seemed so perfect now, like nothing bad would ever happen again. At this moment, it was just him, his sleeping lover, and the exquisite new life he was now holding. Thoughts of the scoldings he had received from his captain were left behind and forgotten as his entire would was now the tiny sleeping face, so close to his own.

Even with the practical experience he had with the fluidity of time and the futility of fighting against it, he wanted so desperately to stop everything- freeze the universe and relish the moment forever, the cavalcade of overwhelming feelings that flowed over him with the time that he knew he could never get back.

But he knew that he would try and hold onto it.

Title: Letter Games
Fandom: Star Trek RP
Rating: PG- Character death, angst, mild language
Pairing: Deven Lanford (2373)xJimena Kirk (2258.45)
Notes: Present for Jimena mun (aka Kat). After and inspired by angsty thread of angst. Oh you plot domos.

-_-_-_-_-

( It was hard to believe that it had already been six years since he had come back )

Title: Ice Cream Kisses
Fandom: Star Trek RP-theneutralzone@lj
Rating: PG-fluffy bedroom scenes
Pairing: (2373)Deven Lanfordx(2256.45)Jimena Kirk

-_-_-_-_-

He was having that dream again- the house in Iowa, the baby girl, them dancing in the yard, the words that he almost said- only to wake up holding her and wonder what it all could possibly mean as his mind caught up to where is body was, remembered what had happened, allowed the sounds- the infant’s sleeping noises, the disembodied music- to fade, reality to come falling back into place.

He gently disentangled his limbs from hers and sat up on the bed moving slowly so as not to wake her. He paused for a moment, rubbing at his face with his hands before he slid carefully out of the bed and started pacing the dimensions of their shared bedroom.

He never paced- not usually, anyway. Not unless he really had something to think about. And he did now more than ever.

He stopped for a moment to look down at her- still sleeping and lovely, and he couldn’t help but smile. She was something entirely unexpected, and somehow she kept surprising him with her physicist’s laugh and her ice cream kisses.

He wasn’t so stupid as to lie to himself; he knew how he felt- he’d been feeling it for a while. Four-hour lovers and now was in-. And it frightened him to be…with her. She was still the same person, had the same personality, the same quirks- he knew the reputation, knew he couldn’t tell her the words, afraid that they would drive her away to the next.

He found little ways to say it, removed any harm from the word- a playful nickname, and that was all the meaning it had- or at least to her. He made the word safe, harmless- just another of his British quirks- but he only said it when he meant it and he meant it each time he said it. Which only made it that much harder to say.

He turned at a soft noise, saw her roll over, searching for him in the tangled blankets with seeking arms and he bent down and took one of her hands in his own before she could wake at his absence, slid back into the bed next to her, pulled her closer, held her as she slept.

So…what was the answer? What did he say? Or did he say? Those forbidden words that he couldn’t speak, couldn’t think…and yet…yet he felt them- every single one of them resonating in his head, his mind, his heart… his unwavering commitment…

“…I love you.”